Confrontation is a choice

Years ago, back when I working as a barista/customer service extraordinaire at Starbucks, I got into more than a few verbal scuffles with customers.

One woman claimed I put something in her frappaccino that made her tongue go numb.

Another gentleman got upset (to the point where he threatened to engage in a fisticuff brawl) because the first and second of the six drinks he ordered weren’t has hot as the final three.

More than a dozen people scolded me because I made their beverages ‘wrong,’ (and demanded a refund) even though Starbucks has some of the strictest recipe standards in the industry. And don’t even get me started on the Starbucks Rewards clan.

In retrospect, I realize now that almost nothing I could have done or said would have made these people not feel they way they did.

That’s because they wanted to have an argument. They knew they were right. I was wrong. End of story.

Once you realize the inherent truth of this, though, that every customer believes they are right, 100% of the time, interacting with people is significantly easier.

Because instead of choosing to have an argument where you try to get your way, or somehow convince people that you’re right, you can simply do your best to treat them the way they want to be treated.

That doesn’t mean you have to adopt the view that the customer always conforms to what is objectively true. It just means accepting that the only way you will ever have a useful interaction with them is to act like they do.

It turns out that taking the posture of “You’re right, I’m on your side, we’re not having an argument,” is infinitely more productive than attempting to argue with an ignorant, oblivious or selfish person who believes they are never wrong.