Tuning your own horn

There’s no question that what you say, how you say it, and how you carry yourself determine how the people around you percieve you.

“Social calibration,” is knowing what appropriate combination of the three will get you the most positive results in the social context you happen to be in.

For example, you wouldn’t speak at the same volume at a meditation retreat as you would at a rock concert.

And you wouldn’t want to carry yourself at a cocktail party in the same way that you would if you were performing a tough mudder.

It turns out that speaking (and acting) in the same relaxed, present manner that you would with a very close friend, however, often helps mirror feelings of genuine likeability among complete strangers.

Of course, appropriate syntax, paralinguistics, and body language aren’t created in a vaccum. We learn how to act in a variety of social contexts from the people and experiences (or lack of experiences) in our orbit.

All another way to say that communication is a subtle skill that can be learned. If you’re not where you want to be (yet), fret not, there are plenty of ways to attune yourself.