The Tail End, from my perspective
Tim Urban, writer of the popular blog Wait But Why, has a blog post titled The Tail End where he essentially lays out the human lifespan visually, by years, months, weeks and days.
He then points out how you can apply this same visualization technique to not only units of time, but also to activities such as seasons, sports events, books read, and dumplings consumed.
This is all very entertaining and enlightening, until he considers it from the point of view of relationships.
How often do you see your parents? Or grandparents? Or siblings?
Take the average amount of time you see them per year and multiply it by a realistic estimate of the number of years they have left on this earth. It can be shocking.
For example, I see my grandparents about 5 days on average every two years. Assuming they live until 100 (they’ll both turn 90 next year) I only have around 25 days left to spend with them face to face. That’s less than a month.
Although I’m currently still living with my parents, I can foresee a time when I may only see them 60 days (on average) per year. Assuming they live until they’re 90, that leaves me with 1,800 days or 4.9 years of face-to-face interaction left, and that’s being extremely generous. In Tim Urban’s case, for example, he’s sees his parents about 10 days on average per year, giving him only 300 days left to hang with mom and dad, assuming they have 30 years more of coexistence.
Think about that. If you’re in your late twenties, and your parents are nearing 60, that means that you have anywhere from 300 days (if you see them ten days a year on average) to 1,800 days (if you see them 60 days a year). I don’t even know if my brother saw my parents (or me) 60 days last year.
Furthermore, whether you have 300 days, or 5 years left, that’s still significantly less time than than you spent with your parents in your first quarter years of life. For most of us, we’re well over 80% of the in-person time we’ll spend with our grandparents, parents and siblings.
As Tim Urban writes, “When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life.”
I realize this is a pretty humbling, and sort of melancholy, but I think it’s important to keep in mind.
Quality time matters. So is making the priority to spend face-time with these people in the first place. If you have the luxury of choice, choose to spend as much time with the people who matter to you as you can.
And consider: maybe you’ve got less time (to do the things you enjoy) than you think. By my calculations, I’ve got about 300 books left to read, assuming I read 5 books per year. About 60 vacations left, if I’m lucky. And don’t even get me started on my time left tobogganing.