Pause and buffer

Many times when we have a conversation with someone, we’re so focused on what we’re going to say next that we forget to focus on listening to what’s being said.

Yet wouldn’t it be better to simply say what comes to mind? Free, spontaneous, unassuming, thought?

What if you defaulted to using a buffer instead?

A go-to phrase, perhaps, so you have something  to say, but not enough that it takes your mind off of listening to the person doing the talking.

In no particular order, here are some things you might say instead:

really(?)
certainly
true
right
absolutely
seriously?
is that right?
exactly!
definitely
yeah
gotcha

See? That’s not too difficult. (And it’s easy to remember a few).

All it is is a way to simply say, “that’s interesting” or “I’m listening” or “tell me more,” and in doing so, enabling you to listen as opposed to thinking about what to next say.

It turns out that taking your mind off mindlessly talking (and thinking about talking) is a great way to get back to listening intently, and saying something impactful, instead.

[HT to Nick Sparks]