Breaking the script
A 'social script' is a script you follow when you’re interacting with a stranger and you don’t know what to say. It goes something like this:
How are you? …What do you? …Where are you from? …What brings you here?
Regardless of if you’re asking the questions or answering them, your script is effectively about the same all the time, either way. The point being that you’ve recited your questions and your responses so many times you’re effectively rehearsing them from an internal script.
And so, whether we’re meeting someone at a party, or in a bar, or on a bus, most interactions with strangers generally end up being boring, banal, and short.
How do we not have boring conversations?
Well, if relying on the script is what is making our conversations boring, one obvious solution is to simply break the script. You can do that by:
Asking interesting questions:
Working on anything exciting recently?
Anything good happen today?
Have anything fun coming up?
Read or watch anything of interest lately?
What was the highlight of your week?
Making interesting statements:
“I’m pretty fantastic. Just had an amazing cup of joe from Philz down the street. I think the roast was Ambrosia Coffee of God…tastes like blackberries and burnt toast if you ask me. Ever been?”
“I was a marketer for a few years, but I recently transitioned into product design since it’s closer to what I’m passionate about. I’m really into products with social causes and just finished working on an app to help people stay in touch.”
“I’m new to Austin, having just left DC. Loved it there, but the weather sucks for half the year, and the traffic is outrageous. Austin doesn’t have any of that, so I get to spend more time doing what I like.”
Pro tip: You can even prepare a second tier response. So, for example, if someone asks ’what do you like about X?’ (in response to the preceding statement) you can respond in a way that’s both interesting and that touches on who you are.