Accusatory communication

Many people are familiar with accusatory statements. Statements that, when combined with ‘you,’ (not ‘this,’ ‘that,’ or ‘it’) generally invite conflict, instead of suppressing it.

Saying ‘you are an idiot,’ for example, is a lot different (and far more argumentative) that saying ‘I find this behavior troubling.’

Lesser known are accusatory questions. Questions that make conversations interrogations, that go on forever, and that leave people tongue-tied and voiceless.

Alas. If you’re trying to authentically engage with people, it doesn’t make much sense to communicate with accusatory statements or accusatory questions.

The former only incites quarrels. The later merely rouses silence.

Better to stimulate kind, optimistic and open communication instead.