Absolutes and conditionals

From an early age, we’re trained to think in absolutes.

'Yes' or 'no.' 'Can' or 'can’t.'

Which is why it’s often hard to both say, and respond (appropriately), to conditionals.

Have you ever been convicted of a misdemeanor?’

‘Yes, but I was in a really dark place (and I’ve changed a lot since then).’

Do you have seven years of experience with this software?

‘No, but I’m willing to learn (and I’m really! passionate about this work).’

Looking for absolutes is just fine, and there are many instances when you should look for them. (Your doctor, for example, should always say ‘yes’ if you ask if they’ve gone to med school.)

But—and it’s a huge but—being open and receptive to conditionals is where the magic happens.

Confidence shifted. Forgiveness given. Narratives amended. Live’s transformed.